I am a sucker for self help books. Several times a week I think about a subject I want to know more about and I’m off to Amazon ! This has left me with a couple of book cases bursting at the seams and a kindle full of things I haven’t read.
Its all too easy to become a self development junkie. When we find ourself lacking we naturally seem to seek for an answer, try to find a solution to ‘fix’ ourselves or make our life better.
But how much of this self development effort actually ever sticks ? It’s easy to be enthused with a new thought or concept of living, an image of happiness, but change is often a fleeting condition. Within a few weeks everything is back to normal and we are seeking new answers to new questions without the old ones really being resolved.
My opinion ( and it is only an opinion ) is that we trust to knowledge far too much. Knowledge is easy to obtain, wisdom is a lot harder but change is really really hard. Especially if your going through it on your own, unsupported.
Much research has gone into what makes counselling work. Why it produce’s such profound effect and transformation. The most important single element has been found to be the relationship you have with your counsellor/therapist. It’s a relationship that should include a non-judgmental attitude, advanced empathy and positive regard. It provokes the most extraordinary changes in people. Although now backed up by evidence, we don’t really need science to tell us this. We just need to look back at major events in our lives, events that have changed us and you will usually find a relationship at the heart of it.
Counselling provides a place, a moment and a relationship to help us grow. It’s almost as if our counsellor becomes a mirror, reflecting back our true self , where we can see our real motives, meanings, emotions and potential. A fertile ground where the business of growth, self development and recovery can really begin.
Maybe its time to put the books away, it’s good to talk.
The StirringPond. 