Who needs Counselling ?

“Im not sure I need counselling” is one of the most frequent opening phrases in first counselling sessions.

Going to counselling is a difficult step for most people. For many it is a great unknown, a source of anxiety in itself. Lets face it, traditional British culture doesn’t often encourage us to seek help. We live in a society that treasures independence and derives strength from being able to cope. Be strong, Be perfect is the unconscious mantra of many. This often unconscious thought becomes a thin veil separating how we think we should be and who we really are. Perhaps the truth is best summed up in a saying from long ago.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

Problems, suffering and struggle define much of our lives. Following close to this are our failures and successes. This applies to all of us, its a universal law. From the most successful business people in the world to the homeless woman on the street, we all face the same human ‘givens’, the reality of suffering in our experience.

Talking to others is a well accepted strategy to help us in our difficulties. Talking helps us to view ourself and situations from other points of view. It helps us to to reflect, and perhaps take action based on reality rather than on deceptions that we unknowingly create in out mind.

Talking to friends is great but often we need more. We need someone who is totally independent. Someone who knows how to listen, who will not judge us and who understands. Someone who could listen to everything, what is said and what is unsaid. Perhaps even someone who intuitively understands the things that we find impossible to put into words. This is the role of the professional counsellor.

All too often people suffer greatly for a long time before seeing a counsellor. Its seen as a ‘last resort’ rather than a first choice. In the means time the problems just get worse, and we sink deeper into our struggle.

Professional Counselling can make a difference. Its not just a safety net but a practical and positive step in strengthening our ability to live. There is no magic, no complex formula or secret knowledge, just the ancient truth that positive relationships with someone who can accept us, not judge us and want to connect with us have positive effects on our lives, its good to talk.